i know how i feel .

[samantha]

yet was so easy that night should’ve been strong yet i lied
nobody gets me like you couldn't keep hold of you then

Once more the wind blew a sheet of rain at the window of Miss Elyse Samantha Moore and she sighed heavily. She had wanted to go out that day, wanted to breathe the fresh air, but instead she was stuck inside listening to the downpour outside. Her fingers were resting on the keyboard in front of her but somehow she couldn't seem to find the right words for what she wanted to say to her friends back in England. It was like smacking her head against a brick wall because she wasn't sure if she wanted them to know how much she was missing them. If she did she would feel guilty for complaining when it had been her choice, but if she didn't then they might think she had moved on and forgotten them. Neither of which was likely to ever happen. Elyse was finding going to a new school very difficult, for one thing it had boys. Yes this might not seem very amazing to some, but to her it was a massive change. Having been at an all girls academy for eleven years it was just queer to see guys walking around the halls as if they belonged there, she had to always remind herself that they did. Finally thinking of something to put during the midst of her dwelling she began to flick her pale fingers over the keys, noting that her skin had gotten even more like an albino since she had left England.

Hey Lou-Lou! God the weather here is worse than that winter in our third year when the window got broken by the tree. It's like always either cloudy or raining. I really miss all you guys and you'd better reply the minute you get this or I'll think you've forgotten me. Haven't made any new friends yet so you needn't worry about being replaced. I'll be coming back to visit soon so don't despair! Love you loads and missing you even more, Elyse xoxo! She read back what she had written before pressing send and pushing back from her laptop to look around her room. An unused umbrella stood in the corner, catching her eye for a moment before they strayed back to the window. Was it worth going out despite the weather? Wasn't she going to have to get used to it now she was stuck in America for the next two years? She planned to go back to UK for University, it was only two years. She could make it if she gritted her teeth. As long as she kept in contact with her friends it would all be fine, she just had to get used to the weather. Setting her mind to the decision she grabbed the umbrella and pulled on a jumper, time to face the music. The jumper was a size too big but it didn't matter to her, better that way because it meant when it got wet it wouldn't suffocate her. Elyse's mind was constantly practical, working through the different logical decisions before choosing a course. A strange way to be but a sensible one as well. Her brain worked at double speeds and that was what made her unique from other people, the fact that she had a brain.

It was dark as she stepped out of her front door, the rain pelting at her like a million tiny boxers. Yet she carried on down the road. Her truck stood in the driveway but wasn't she only doing this so she could breathe some fresh air and learn to live with the weather? The wind pulled at her umbrella making it useless and she tugged the raincoat she had grabbed on the way out tighter around her little body. There was barely anything of Elyse. She was a tiny slip of a human being, standing at barely five foot. Her head was a mop of thick brownish black locks and her eyes were a dark brown, yet her skin remained stubbornly pale. It was bloody annoying. She was a walking contrast. Sighing to herself she carried on, kicking wet leaves out of her way as she glanced this way and that at the buildings she passed. The streets were deserted, no one but her seemed dumb enough to go out into the rainstorm that was currently battering her. Her Mom had gone out to work that morning with only a vague goodbye, clearly distracted, but it was enough to reassure Ely of her reason for moving out of England in the first place. Her Mom needed her around. Ely's Dad had settled down in New York with his new wife and just forgotten his old family apart from when he needed Elyse for a social event, and her Mom had been on her own all the time Elly was finishing school, it had been time to put her Mom out of her lonely misery and come home. She knew that her Mom had never been good at being on her own, and it was Elyse that paid the price by having to leave everything she knew and loved behind.

Crossing over a street she found herself looking out over the ocean, her eyes flickering as they followed the rise and crash of white waves, the spray hitting her almost as hard as the rain was. Yet even in this kind of storm there was something so amazingly beautiful about the ocean. She had never really lived anywhere near it before. Apart from that one summer she spent down in Britain and she hadn't really counted that as an ocean. The storm was brewing the crest of the waves into foam, drawing her towards it like some kind of spell. She had had no intention of checking out the beach, having never found it all that amazing, just another force of nature beyond her logical control. Her dark eyes took in every possibility before descending down to the beach with cautious footsteps. The wind tried to buffer her this way and that but as she got nearer the actual beach it seemed to get less, as if the rocks were acting as some kind of breaker between it and her. Glad of the reprieve she lowered the hood of her jacket so she could see more clearly, before finally her feet found ground level and she stood looking out over the waves, starting to wander down the beach. Every once in a while a particularly nasty wave would come up and just brush at the edges of her shoes but she wasn't bothered, the tide was going to be going out rather than coming in soon, or so she thought, it was perfectly safe for her to be out. Now the first might have been true but the second definitely wasn't.

Elyse had mistakenly made the assumption that the worst the storm could be was just the rain and the wind, she hadn't accounted for the thunder and lightening. Just as she stepped out into the clear of a pile of rocks she heard the first rumble of sound and bit back a scream of surprise. This was not good. Her feet began to turn backwards just as the sky was illuminated, the dark afternoon being cracked open by a flash of bright light. She knew the smartest thing to do when thunder and lightening passed over was not be the tallest thing around, and at that moment she was. Cursing she began to run back down the beach, grateful for her decision to wear trainers. She knew she could never get back up with the surroundings getting darker and darker she did the only sensible thing she could, and took refuge under and behind a pile of rocks. She was soaked to the skin and cowering, but it was all part of the joys of now living in La Push. Anyone else in her position would have been scared, but not her, she was just thinking that it was typical of her luck to get stuck out in a thunder storm.

tag -- a la pushian