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Post by isabella swan on Apr 7, 2009 18:36:26 GMT
 IT'S THE LAST CHANCE TO FEEL ANYTHINGBUT YOU BROKE ME NOW I CAN'T FEEL A THINGgripping her fingers harder against the couch beneath her bella swan tried to fight the raging need to get up and leave the cullen household. to just get up, leave and go hunt. she had never felt such a terrible hunger and she knew that there was hundreds of prey just walking around outside, all of whom smelt so good, drawing her in. growling under her non-needed breath. she hadn't expected it to hurt as much as it did, she hadn't expected it to be so hard. now she knew why jasper found it so hard, knew why he had lost control when he had smelt her blood. god knows she would if someone came within one thousand feet of her that was human at that moment. the cullen's had somehow managed to wrestle her into a room after she was changed and for a few days it felt as if all she had seen was the four walls of this bedroom. the walls were scratched, destroyed. the paper torn from them in her frenzy to try and get herself under control, or to get out. she knew in her mind that she could just open the door and leave, but her inward battle was even stronger than her physical hunger. she didn't want to become a monster, she didn't want to kill, but she wanted the blood. the animal just wasn't enough. her very body demanded human. letting out another vicious snarl she wished she could sleep, but she couldn't do that either now. she had gotten what she wanted, she was just like edward now, she had asked for this basically, yet as she sat there for a moment she wondered if it was worth it. edward was avoiding her like the plague. bella had given up everything she knew willingly for him, and he couldn't seem to bare her presence.
finally the couch gave up the ghost and cracked loudly beneath her palms. removing her hand she realized just how much stronger she was now. she could take on emmett, she could beat him if she wanted to. yet she was was locked in her room by her own inner fight. she had to get the blood lust under control before she ventured out, before she faced the world. she didn't want to hurt anyone, she needed to learn how to control herself. the cullen's were her only point of call in the storm, she couldn't let them down. lifting her head from where it had been resting in her knees she looked across the room at the shattered mirror, another casualty of her self-control issue. even though there was cracks all across it she could see what she looked like. paler, prettier, bright red eyes in her face. it would be at least a year before they turned the colour of the rest of the cullen's, if she didn't go crazy and go on a killing massacre. she prayed that she didn't. she couldn't bare to have another person's blood on her hands. she refused to be like james or victoria or laurent. they were them and she was her. there would be nothing that tied them together.
yet even as she sat there telling herself all of this she knew she couldn't last much longer, she knew that her losing the fight was an inevitability. it was going to happen, so why was she fighting it? she could make the thirst go away for a while, she could soothe the ache, so why didn't she? who cared if she just killed one? that was one in a billion after all. she'd pick someone she knew to be evil, she'd go after those guys who had attacked her in that alley, then she could go back to trying to get the control. everyone was allowed a slip-up. with this in her mind bella rose from the sofa, heading straight for her door. her movements were much smoother now, much less clumsy, and a lot more deadly. she could move with the same speed as all the other vampires in the house now. it came with the strength and senses. bella was yet to find if she could do anything in particular. she had been too busy fighting herself to find out if there was anything she could use to fight other people. her hand came to rest on the cool doorknob but before she could open it herself it was opened from the other side... |
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Post by alice cullen on Apr 8, 2009 16:22:32 GMT
 - - - - “alice…alice…are you okay?”
Charlie’s hand on her shoulder, awoke her with a start. “I am sorry, drifted off” Alice sung, shrugging it off and giving him a smile, as he eyed her cautious and sat back down. Even though it was much more, Alice knew she had to continue to play it cool. As Charlie had become more attentive to what was going on, scared that she would disappear, as his daughter had done. Which was sweet, but it made her job much harder. She had to lie more efficiently to him, and make sure he stayed in the dark. Which almost seemed cruel, as she knew his daughter was alive, but she could not tell him…it was not safe.
Trying to ignore her visions, she continued to cook for Charlie. Stirring the pasta, and humming to herself as she worked, in an attempt to seem normal. But it was hard as the visions become more and more realised, Alice found them hard to ignore. Bella was getting more and more determined to leave and feed, that it was getting to the point Alice could see her achieving it. Which made alarm bells ring in her head, as nobody in the house seemed to be paying the slightest attention to her. They were all blissfully unaware, carrying on their lives as normal…or moping in their rooms, listening to yet another classical album. Leaving it once more, down to her, to swoop in and save the day.
“Oh shoot” Alice fake cursed sounded through the kitchen, as she spun round and faced Charlie, who had now once more put down his paper and was looking at her. “I totally forgot Esme asked me to get something from the store, and it closes in like…a half an hour” she lied, looking at her designer watch and sighing for effect. “Would you mind if I went? All you have to do is drain the pasta in like two minuets, and add the sauce in the microwave” she finished, just as Charlie smiled and shock his head. “Of course I don’t kid, you do to much for me already. Just look after yourself okay, you still got the pepper spray I gave you right?” Alice nodded, as a small giggle left her lips, before she collected her things from the work surface, gave Charlie a hug goodbye and left.
Rushing over to the car, Alice hopped inside and hit the gas and was gone, in one swift manoeuvre, of Edwards silver Volvo. Hitting the road, she pushed it to its potential and rushed through the town and out the other side, and onto the road out of Forks, which lead to their woodland dwellings. On the way, she passed Bella’s truck. It still had yet to be moved and still had the yellow crime scene taped around it now. However there was no human presence now; the news crew had moved on, as had the Fork teens and now all was left of their presence, was flowers and teddy bears, that lay around the reef that her family had placed their.
Pushing on, Alice reached their home in seconds, and had the car parked moments later. She was just in time, and could see Bella leaving her room in a matter of seconds. Yet there was nothing she could do, Alice knew she was not strong enough to hold her back, Bella was a new-born, her strength trumped all of theirs, even Emmett’s. So she would have to fight her; but Alice could not hurt her, to stop her, even if stopping her was the right thing to do. Alice could not, and would not hurt her. She needed a third option and she needed it now. But nothing came to mind, and the longer she sat there, the longer Bella had to escape.
Shaking her head, Alice hopped out of the car and rushed into the house. She could hear Bella moving around upstairs, but instead headed to Carlisle’s office, to his medical supplies. Pulling open the cupboard, she found his storage of donated blood. Pulling out a couple of packets, she rushed into her own room and to her collections of DVD’s. It was vast, but Alice grabbed a couple, ones of classic books that had been made into movies. Before, she was gone once more, dashing from her room, up the stairs, to Edwards room and up some more stairs before she reached the place Bella was concealed.
Pushing open the door, and sliding in, Alice was instantly confronted with Bella. “Were you going somewhere” Alice asked with a smile, raising her left eyebrow and looking up at Bella.
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Post by isabella swan on Apr 8, 2009 16:59:46 GMT
IT'S THE LAST CHANCE TO FEEL ANYTHINGBUT YOU BROKE ME NOW I CAN'T FEEL A THING being locked in the attic by varying members of the cullen family was beginning to grate on bella's nerves. having always been a quiet active person the endless hours of sitting and rocking were getting old, and for most of it she was alone. she had sort of expected edward to be there for more of it, to stand by her and keep her company, yet he remained as far away as it seemed possible to be. she knew she was different now, but she was fighting this battle so they could be together forever, the least he could was come and keep her from feeling lonely. out of all the emotions she was raging with at that moment loneliness was one of the more prominent. she wished for some company that wasn't merely a person locking the door and walking away, or standing outside and waiting for her to lose it. she knew they couldn't risk anything, that for a while it had to be like that, but she wished it wasn't. in her more lucid moments bella longed for someone to talk to, someone to distract her from the knawing pain in her throat and stomach. isabella had always been independent, she walked her own path, but at that moment she neeeded someone to lean on. everything was so new and so confusing and she wasn't sure where she was heading in the near future. she needed a hand to help her along. was that too much to ask? the question seemed to buzz in her head a lot recently, and she hated herself for it's presence. because she knew it was selfish to think like that. they were staying away for their own safety, she knew she could destroy them and none of them would raise a vicious move to stop her. it was right for them to take precautions.
apart from edward the only person that bella truly would have been happy to see was alice. the little pixie had so much energy, and she didn't seem scared that bella was going to tear her to pieces the minute she came in contact. she wondered for a moment why alice hadn't noticed that her guard had lapsed. she had heard the footsteps of the cullen member walking away at least fourty five minutes ago, she could easily break the lock and walk away, walk off and feed. the prey was only a few minutes, maybe even seconds, away. why should she stay here in pain when it was so easy to end the ache? she could just stand up and leave and none of them would think any the worse of her. but would she think the worse of her? that was the biggest question hanging inside her head. she didn't want the blood of other people, people she probably knew, hanging on her hands. yet her body did. it was that classical battle of mind over matter, and at that point her matter was winning. now she understood what edward had been through everyday he was around her whilst she was human. she wondered how he had not gone mad. the only saving grace of her at the moment was that she hadn't been anywhere near the scent of a human since her change. bella knew that if she did catch a whiff she'd be done for, and that couldn't happen. she had to stay in her little attic room and therefore keep the rest of the world safe from her. yet even as her mind revolted against it, she got up and went to that door, fully intending to send it all to hell.
but then that pixie of a girl she had been thinking of appeared in her bedroom, carrying what looked like a set of goodies. but it was not the dvds, or alice that truly held her attention. no. it was the two bags of blood that she was carrying. it was at that moment that the first smile of the day greeted bella's face, so alice had seen she was about to fail, and clearly rushed back from wherever she had been to prevent bella slipping. this was why everyone loved alice, she could always manage to get in the way of things before they got too bad. "you already know i was." trying to stop herself leaping for the blood she swallowed and tried to stop breathing, putting all her training into place. over the few days the various cullen's had tried to teach her the tricks of the trade. and it was easier when the blood was in a bag because the smell was slightly obscurred. baby steps. that was what she had to take. baby steps. "please tell me that's for me." she said, sucking in a quick breath before shutting it off again. |
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