COUNTING THE MINUTES *

[wendla everard]

WHAT GOOD IS LOVE WHAT GOOD IS
LOVE WHEN IT COMES AND TAKES IT'S TOLL ON US

there was one place that wendla isolde everard had swore never to return to, and that was la push. she had walked out of there one cool october night and had never looked back, yet at that moment she was heading in it's direction. letting out a little sigh as her truck bounced along the uneven trail to her old home town she took a moment to glance sideways at the figure of her sleeping angel, her one and only important thing in the world. her daughter delilah. sure the situation around her birthing had not been a good one, sure it had taken everything out of wendla to keep going, but she had made it all completely worth it. for three years wendla had been treking across europe, holding lilah as tight as possible for fear she too would be taken from her. it had been a weird experience. at sixteen she had turned her back on everyone that she ever knew, had walked off into the night without a word to anyone. her own parents believed her to be dead. three years. three years was a long time to be alone without anyone to talk to. everywhere she had gone wendy had met people, incredible people, but she had always known she couldn't stay in the same place for long, and so had continued on her path. until finally, one month before that moment when she found herself back on her way to la push, she had decided it was time to stop running. to face the mess she had left behind, and to show people why she had to leave in the first place. now wendy knew there would be trouble, she knew certain people would not be pleased to see her after so long, but she knew that until she looked her past in the eye she couldn't look to the future either. she wanted to be able to move on completely, and that meant returning to the scene of the crime as it were.

tightening her hands on the steering wheel she stared at the road ahead of her, desperate to bring some cool to her mind. when she walked away from la push she had sworn to herself that enough was enough, she was done, she was out of there. and yet it drew her back like a magnet. it had taken her three years of running to find that out. she needed to wash la push out of her hair before she could truly get away from it. but she knew she was coming back with far more baggage than when she'd left, despite claiming the town was the problem and not her. wendy had left with an almost clean slate. she had been the all american girl, the darling in the white dress that smiled for everyone and never hurt anyone. that was before. that was a time she knew she could never go back to. the minute the wool got tugged from her eyes, the minute she saw what her father truly was, she knew she would never be the same. so off she'd run like alice, down the rabbit hole never knowing when she would reach the other end. for wendla had seen something the night she left that would be etched on her memory, on her view of the world forever. her father, the man who went on tv every night and pretended to do everything right and kind, the man that wendy idolised and adored, had been cheating on her mother for years. it was that that wendy came home to after seeing her own boyfriend in bed with another girl. two in one night was just too much to bare. so she had turned tail and run, now she was going back to settle the demons before taking of again.

wendla had never planned to hate her father, she never really planned to do anything anymore. she just wandered where the wind blew her, picking up a waitressing job wherever she happened to land and earning just enough to keep her and lilah in food and under a roof. it had not been easy, but she had managed. she was just a nomad like any other, but now she had returned home. pulling the truck to a stop at the side of the road she took a deep breath in, laying her head against the steering wheel and pressing her forehead into the middle. glad that the horn wasn't operated via that button, or she would be alerting people to her coming. that was something she didn't want. no one knew that wendy was coming home, and it had taken careful planning to make it so. she had scrounched the money for a plane ticket for her and lilah, then picked up the car she had put on order thanks to a nice man in carcassonne and his overactive credit card. he had been a blessing to her. turning the keys in the ignition again she took off onto the road again, continuing to breathe and pray that this wouldn't be the undoing of her. over the three years wendy had found her balance on the knives edge, she didn't want to lose it again. taking a left, following a road she still knew like the back of her hand, she tried to decide where to go first. should she walk straight back into her old house and just grin as if she had never left? no. no. that wouldn't do. she had to get some fresh air first, it had been a long drive. pulling the truck over she switched it off and then jumped out, walking around to the other side and gently lifting her sleeping two year old, careful not to stir her.

looking about she knew instantly where she was heading, she didn't even have to think about it. there was only one place in la push that one could get any breath without fear of someone happening across. it was big enough that if you wished to stay hidden you could. for the first time that day a smile graced wendy's face as she soothed the hair on delilah's head. so dark, just like her fathers. dark eyes and dark hair, there was definitely more of her dad than there was of wendy, and she was sort of ok with that. she looked like her father, and she wanted nothing to do with that man ever coming within three feet of delilah. treading carefully down to the beach she stared out over the crashing waves, wondering where all the people she had once knew were. had they remained in la push? continued on with their lives as if she had never been there? forgotten her completely? had he forgotten her completely? the mirage of questions threatened to engulf her, so wendy pulled lilah harder into her body and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. her lifepreserver in a storm, her light in all the darkness. her little girl. whom remained steadfastly asleep. her parents had put it about that wendla was dead, and looking at her at that moment it might be a fair assumption. with haunted eyes that used to glitter with life and pale skin that appeared sallow and drained she was the sight of exhaustation. three years of fleeing finally catching up with her as she stared out at that beating sea.

pulling her leather jacket from her shoulders and draping it on the floor she sat down, pulling delilah more comfortably onto her lap so she could finish her nap. it had been as long a drive for her as it had been for wendy. thankfully she had slept most of the way. smiling down at her little girl she marvelled once again just how much she looked like her father. it cut a little bit at wendy's heart, but she was used to it. for nine months little lilah had cooked inside of her, she wasn't going to let the fact she had her father's eyes ruin the bond they shared. it had been a case of love at first sight. that instant bond between mother and daughter that wendy had been so scared would be absent, but had managed to appear as if by magic, much to wendla's happiness. brushing a lock of black hair out of the little girl's face she turned her eyes back to the sea, enjoying the feel of the hard rocks beneath her. something solid to cling onto her as emotions swirled like an ever deepening whirlpool. why had she bothered to come back? why was she trying to torture herself? there didn't seem to be a logical reason for her doing such a stupid thing. she could turn around and leave again, she could just get out. but then she shook herself and reminded herself that she couldn't. there were ghosts in la push, ghosts that had to be put to rest before she could ever be free of the place. and one of those major ones was to show people she wasn't dead, that she was almost as alive as when she had left, and she needed to show delilah to her father. he didn't even know she existed, wendy had left without telling him she was pregnant, it had to come out now. shifting the list to the back of her mind she tried to focus on the sea, on the steady weight of her daughter. but then the footsteps came, alerting her to the presence of another person.

TAGGED FOR OPEN THE OUTFIT IS HERE THE WORD COUNT IS 1604
THE TEMPLATE IS MINE THE LYRICS ARE BRITANNIA HIGH
THE BANNER IS THE LUCY SOUND'S

[leah clearwater]

(I'm going to post here after school <3<3<3)